


It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

by crossingwinter, jeeno2



Series: Reylo Crack [9]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Crack, F/M, Halloween, Halloween Costumes, Penis Ghost, dicklo, dicklo 2: electric BOO-galoo, i'd say we're sorry but that would be a lie, sentient penis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-20
Updated: 2019-10-20
Packaged: 2020-12-24 11:44:57
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21098942
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crossingwinter/pseuds/crossingwinter, https://archiveofourown.org/users/jeeno2/pseuds/jeeno2
Summary: Rey convinces Ben--and his sentient penis--to go with her to a Halloween party.What could go wrong?(Working title: "Dicklo 2: Electric BOO-galoo")





	It's the Most Wonderful Time of the Year

**Author's Note:**

> About a year ago, crossingwinter wrote a fic in which Kylo Ren's penis was, in fact, a miniature version of himself. Or, [Dicklo](https://archiveofourown.org/works/17451884/), if you will.
> 
> What follows is the inevitable follow up, co-written by crossingwinter and jeeno2, and posted today because today is jeeno's birthday and she does what she wants on her birthday.
> 
> An unimportant clarifying note before we begin: Dicklo, The First took place in canonverse, while Dicklo 2: Electric BOO-galoo is a modern day AU. But it's all part of the same Dicklo Cinematic Universe (in other words please don't think too hard about any of this because we sure as fuck did not.)

Rey pulls up in front of Ben’s house and carefully checks her cat makeup in the rearview mirror.

It had taken a lot of trying on her part to convince Ben to come to this. Ben’s not one for socializing generally, and the idea of going to a Halloween party dressed as something he’s not appeals to him about as much as a root canal performed without any painkillers.

But in the end, he’d agreed. Grudgingly—he’d made her promise to watch all seven seasons of  _ Star Trek: The Next Generation _ with him over the next few months in exchange for this—but he’d agreed all the same. 

And that’s what matters.

He won’t admit it, but Rey is nearly certain Ben is doing this for Little Ben, not for her. Little Ben has been to as many parties as Ben has, of course; but he’s never gotten dressed up for one. The other night, as Ben was spooning her in his bed and Rey was telling him all about the costume party Finn had invited them to, Little Ben started weeping despite the fact that nobody was touching him at the time. It’s easy to forget that Little Ben has feelings of his own sometimes, given that most of the time she can’t see his little face—Ben’s in perfect miniature—and most of the time when she  _ does _ see his little face he’s elated. But he  _ does _ have feelings. 

He’s one of the most sensitive beings Rey’s ever known. 

Rey made a costume for little Ben the very next day on the assumption that tonight, at last, Ben will finally take him out and let him dress up for everybody. She tucks the little square of fabric into her purse, smiling a little, as she exits her car and makes her way to Ben’s front door.

* * *

“I will not,” Ben says firmly, staring between Rey and the little square of white fabric. She has  _ got _ to be joking. This is the  _ trick _ part of trick-or-treat for sure. She’s going to pull a  _ fooled you _ or a  _ made you look _ at any fucking second.

“Come on,” she says, looking up at him with those shining eyes of hers. “It’d mean so much to him. You know it would.”

“I know it would, but it still means me walking around buck-naked at Finn’s Halloween party.”

“You wouldn’t be the first,” Rey cajoles.

“No,” Ben says.

“What if we took some of your old underwear and just cut the front off so—”

“No.”

“Ben,” Rey intones.

“No.”

“He’d be so excited. The whole time. And it’s not like you have anything to hide.”  _ Except that my penis is a sentient, balder, smaller version of me. _

As long as he lives, he’ll never be over that Rey doesn’t mind this, that she loves Little Ben, that even now, she’s thinking about him wanting to come to a fucking Halloween party in costume.

In his pants, Little Ben twitches. He’d been asleep, but he’d heard Rey pleading, and usually when Rey pleads he’s going to be springing into action soon.

“Why don’t we ask him?” Rey asks.

“Because—” Ben starts but Rey keeps going.

“Because he’s part of you, and for most people, thinking with their dicks means something else, but I do think this is an instance where you should think with your dick.”

Ben stares at her, dumbfounded. And in his trousers, he can feel Little Ben perking to attention, the way he always does when Rey’s close, whenever Rey has his back.

“ _ What’s going on _ ?” he hears Little Ben ask, muffled, through his trousers.

Rey sinks to her knees and unzips him and pulls Little Ben loose, pressing a kiss right to the tip of him. “I have a costume for you,” she tells him.

And that’s just cheating. It’s just  _ cheating. _

But Little Ben is so delighted that Ben’s  _ quite _ sure that he’s never been quite this erect before in his entire life.

* * *

“You look great, Ben.”

Ben is lying down on his bed, his jaw clenched and his arms folded tightly across his chest. He’d been pretty angry with her at first, but to make it up to him (and to make sure Little Ben stays standing tall long enough for his costume to stay put all night) Rey has been stroking, kissing, and caressing Little Ben almost nonstop since she got here. Little Ben is so excited to be dressing up for his first costume party that he’s wanted to weep just about every time she’s touched him—but whenever she starts to feel the first sign of wetness on her palm Rey pulls her hand back and tells him, reassuringly, that he needs to stay long and strong and calm, or this won’t work.

“I’m going to have to have a boner all night, aren’t I,” Ben mutters. It isn’t a question. He reaches down and gently, gently puts his hand on top of Little Ben through the little square of white fabric Rey’s draped over him.

But he can’t do that or it’ll ruin everything.

“Ben,” Rey says. She moves his hand away from his crotch. “We’ve been over this.”

_ “We have _ ,” Little Ben squeaks from beneath his costume. “ _ It’s true.” _

Ben sighs, resigned, and presses both fists into his eyes.

Rey kneels beside the bed with a black sharpie and carefully draws a pair of eyes on Little Ben’s costume. 

“You’re going to look so spooky,” she says encouragingly. He twitches a little in excitement, but Rey is quick, and yanks back the marker before it smears. 

“ _ Will people be frightened of me?” _ Little Ben asks, voice filled with wonder. “ _ Like I’m a proper ghost?” _

Rey leans forward and presses a little kiss to the top of his head. Ben and Little Ben both groan in unison.

“Like a proper ghost,” Rey promises him, her voice brimming with pride.

“I can’t believe this is happening,” Ben mutters. 

* * *

The elastic is a little tighter than he’d want. He’s never had to wear a condom, thank goodness. Asphyxiation is one of  _ Big _ Ben’s kinks, not one of Little Ben’s. He’d never been overly fond of the idea of being completely encased in latex, and having some elastic holding him in place. But if Rey tells him that the elastic will help keep the costume from falling off completely, he’ll do it. He’ll do it.

If anything it helps. The elastic keeps the costume in place but also keeps the blood from leaving him as easily. He just hopes he doesn’t get dizzy. And he already feels dizzy from excitement.

He’s going to a party. A real live party. He bobs up and down with anticipation as Rey and Big Ben move around the bedroom. He can only sort of see Rey’s little cat-suit through the cotton. She’s got a little tail sticking out from her bum and the black tank top is so tight against her skin. He wants to touch it. Wants to touch her. Wants her to kiss him again.

Except he’ll have to wait. Suddenly, the hours of the party stretching before him feel a lot less exciting than the idea of being inside Rey right now. But no—no, he’s not thinking with his head right now. He knows he’ll feel great going to a party, and Rey had made him a costume. He’ll be able to show his appreciation later. He doesn’t need to be instantly gratified. He can contain himself.

“How are these?” Rey asks, holding up a pair of Big Ben’s underwear. “These look old enough that we could rip the front off them properly.”

“Yeah, sure,” Big Ben says and a moment later, he sees Rey cutting the front off a pair of tighty-whiteys. She hands them to Big Ben and a moment later, he’s tugging them up his legs, gently pulling Little Ben through the elastic before readjusting his costume. 

“I love you,” Rey tells Big Ben.

“I know,” he grumbles. “You fucking better for this.”

* * *

Finn greets them at the front door with a beer in each hand and an incredulous expression on his face.

“What the  _ fuck _ , Solo.”

Finn and Ben have never really gotten along, and Rey knows her best friend only semi-tolerates Ben because he’s so important to her. In retrospect, she probably should have warned Finn that her boyfriend was, by all appearances, going to be coming to his Halloween party with his erect, eight-and-a-half-inch-long penis sticking out of his pants, covered only by a miniature handmade ghost costume.

It’s not the whole truth, of course. But it’s important to Ben that Little Ben be a secret that only the three of them share, and Rey loves both of them too much to betray their confidence like that.

“Rey made me do this,” Ben says, pointing an accusatory finger at her. “Believe me when I tell you _ this _ was not what I wanted.”

That seems to mollify Finn a little. He shrugs. “I mean—it’s fine. I guess.” He looks him over. “The rest of your costume is ok. You’re one of the Ghostbusters, right? And your dick is…”

He trails off awkwardly, clearly not sure how to finish that sentence. 

“A ghost,” Rey finishes for him, happily. Out of the corner of her eye she can see Little Ben start to twitch with joy. The little guy always does love to be the center of attention. “I wanted their costumes to match.”

“Ah,” Finn says, though he looks skeptical.

“She promised she’d watch  _ Star Trek _ with me,” Ben explains, sounding unhappy. “As well as… other stuff.”

“I don’t even want to know.” Finn hands them their beers and beats a hasty retreat out of the room.

“ _ Can I have something to drink too?”  _ Little Ben squeaks expectantly. “ _ I don’t like beer.” _

Rey kneels in front of Little Ben and puts a reassuring hand on his head. Of course he can’t have a drink—but that doesn’t mean he has to feel left out of things.

“Rey,” Ben chokes out. “People are going to see you kneeling in front of me and get the wrong idea.

* * *

He tries to forget about it but it’s...hard.

It’s little things—stepping aside in the hallway for people to get past him and they rub up against Little Ben and his stomach does a horrible lurch and his eyes roll into the back of his head and all he can think is  _ please please please don’t cry.  _ Because as much as he does not like this costume, or doing this, the last thing he wants is to jizz all over the little ghost costume Rey had made and then have  _ everyone know _ what had happened.

Because Poe Dameron has already commented more than once on the fact that he’s at a party with a hard-on so raging that it hasn’t died down even though no one at the party is wearing a sexy costume. “You got a cock ring on that thing?” Poe had asked. “Stilts?”

Ben had just taken a sip of beer and muttered, “The elastic to keep the costume in place.”

“Must be one strong elastic.”

“Fuck off, Dameron.”

He does not like Rey’s friends. He doesn’t like their costumes, or their parties. He doesn’t like how they keep staring at his dick with looks as though they are unsure whether to admonish him or laugh. But most of all, he hates that whenever he catches a glimpse of Rey out of the corner of his eye, Little Ben twitches.

There’s something about Rey in black. He’s so used to seeing her wearing light neutrals that it feels positively sinful to see her in a black catsuit. It’s not even the most revealing of catsuits, but the dark against her skin, the elastic that hugs her curves—he has to ball his fists to keep from gripping Little Ben.

Because  _ that  _ will turn all of Rey’s friends’ humorous glances into revolted ones for sure, him jerking it in the middle of a Halloween party.

But then Rey—currently engrossed in conversation with one of her friends; he has no idea which friend, they’re all interchangeable boring idiots to him— turns to look at him again, a broad smile on her face and a hint of mischief in her eyes. Little Ben twitches once—but hard, and insistently—beneath his little costume.

All at once, Ben’s patience for this nonsense comes to an end.

He palms Little Ben, who stands even more at attention at the sweet pressure of his palm against his head.

Ben knows what he has to do.

* * *

Rey is making polite small talk with Kaydel when Ben comes up behind her and grips her arm, hard.

“Let’s go,” he murmurs, low and urgent into her ear.

Rey’s eyebrows go up. “Now?” He can’t seriously mean they have to leave now, can he? They only just got here. Little Ben hasn’t even had a chance to bob for apples yet. But then she sees the look of fierce determination on Ben’s face and there’s no doubt anymore what’s on his mind.

Rey’s heart skips a beat. Just as it always does whenever Ben is near her, looking at her like this. Wanting her.

“Now,” he confirms. His voice has gone rough, ragged around the edges, and his tone brooks no opposition. “If we don’t do this now…”

He looks... pained. Rey glances down at Little Ben—it’s an instinct at this point; to check on Little Ben whenever Ben is distraught—and her heart sinks.

Little Ben is trembling.

All at once, Rey realizes this whole thing was just too much for him to handle.

“Oh no,” she says, breath leaving her in a rush.

“Bathroom,” Ben says grits out. “Now, Rey. Please.”

Rey swallows. They can’t do this in Finn’s house. They  _ can’t _ do this when all of these people are here.

“ _ Please _ , Rey,” Ben says, when she doesn’t respond. His eyes bore right into hers. God, she loves his eyes. She loves all of him. She always will. “Both of us need it so badly.”

* * *

Off comes the costume—thank goodness. The elastic was a little too tight by the end, and he feels a little short of breath, a little feverish because of it. He bobs up and down, panting, sweating as he watches Rey shimmy her leggings down past her knees doing her best to kick them off as Big Ben approaches and spreads her legs wide.

She’s tighter and dryer than usual when he nudges up against her. Big Ben is kissing her, moaning into her lips and Rey’s hand wraps around him and does her best to guide him in. And Ben is crying with relief the deeper into her he slides.

He’ll make her wetter with his tears. He’s crying a lot right now. Usually when he’s feeling this overstimulated it’s because Rey’s tied Big Ben to the bed and is teasing him with some toy or another and all he wants to do is cry and release but she won’t let him, and he’d promised not to until she’d told him he could. He’s frantic and desperate, kissing her walls around him as he thrusts into her deeper and deeper. Inside her, he hears the pounding of his heart and hers. He hears moans and mumbles from above but he doesn’t care that he’s missing the conversation. He’s safe right now—safe and home and yes yes yes this feels so good. Rey always makes him feel so good. He came to a party and now he’s coming at the party.

Big Ben goes still and Ben smiles and twitches and sighs and kisses Rey more as he shrinks away from her cervix. He feels better. Calmer. Released. 

Now that he’s done he pays attention to Big Ben’s words when he says, “I’d make it up to you, but I’m not sure you deserve it.”

“Don’t I?” Rey asks and she tightens around Ben and he quivers a bit. 

“ _ She does _ ,” Ben says, still inside her, knowing that neither of them will hear him because they never hear him like this. “ _ She always does _ .”

“Jury’s still out,” Big Ben replies.

“ _ Jury’s still  _ in,” Ben retorts, kissing her again. 

* * *

Slowly, Ben and Little Ben start to come back to themselves. Rey can see it in the easy set of Ben’s jaw and the lilt to Little Ben’s smile.

“Do you want to go home now?” The way Rey sees it, they’ve made their appearances. And nobody who spent even thirty seconds in Ben’s company will think he was actually having fun here tonight. 

Maybe this was too much, too soon, for both of them.

But Little Ben shakes his head vigorously.

“ _ I want to stay,” _ he squeaks emphatically. As if to prove it, he plumps himself up big and strong again, even though he just cried himself out. “ _ I can do it, Rey. Please.” _

She looks up at Ben’s face. “How about you?”

He shrugs. “I should be able to handle it, now that I’ve… I mean, now that both of us have…”

He trails off, the tips of his ears going a bit red.

Rey stands on her tiptoes and kisses Ben on the lips a moment before sinking to her knees and kissing Little Ben on  _ his _ lips.

“Better stop that, though,” Ben warns. “Just in case.”

Rey beams proudly at both of them.

This is going to be the best Halloween ever.

**Author's Note:**

> Come find us twitter at [jeenonamit](https://twitter.com/jeenonamit/)!  
and [crossingwinter](https://twitter.com/crossing_winter/)!  



End file.
